All artificial

SINGAPOREANS SUCK

Everything about Singaporean society is shit. I hate what every arsefaced citizen of this shitplace of an island has made the society of this country to be. If you're a Singaporean and you're reading this, go follow your Singaporean instincts and STOMP this on your shit whorebase community forum so that every free soul out there gets an idea of Singaporean suckage.

Let me address some of the main issues and fallacies in our society. Realise that I am here to criticise, not to suggest improvement or anything. So you can stfu like now if you intend to tell me how my suggestions for improvement might not work and how the Singaporean society is already at its pinnacle of intellect and civilization. If you're that sort of moron, gtfo. Your readership is unwelcome. More so if you're Singaporean (and this would make most of my readerbase totally unwelcomed but I am not the sort of person that usually gives a shit about these kind of stuff so read if you want because my criticism is extremely interesting).
First issue: quidnuncy. Every Singaporean is a retarded quidnunc. What's a quidnunc? Being quidnuncs, Singaporeans will naturally discover the meaning of this alien word by themselves. Curiosity is good to a certain degree. Once you surpass that limit you become a complete douchebag; like every Singaporean. Why the hell must a convention of people cluster around a dead pigeon or a gushing manhole? There is absolutely no point in staring your eyes out at something you don't see everyday. And then there are also people who will whip out their pathetic phone cameras and take a hell load of pictures of the anomaly and subsequently upload them all onto their blogs exclaiming various forms of bullshit stating that they have been completely ignorant and unaware to the existence of these sorts of happenings. All you guys deserve death for being utterly pathetic at life.
The second issue is the retarded Singaporean obssession with winning. Fuck you all. Obssessing over winning is for losers. Singaporeans want to win at everything. It turns out you can't win at everything. You are human beings so stop hallucinating about your idealized future as totalitarian world ruler. People have different areas of ownage. Some people own at being gamers and some people at studying. Singaporeans tend to own at sucking but maybe you'll discover some hidden potential in you in the near future. Whatever; I don't care. What I want to say is that Singaporeans should stop trying to win and learn to sit still and be satisfied with their current social status because all of you are irritating me with your fucked up shit.
Third: Money. Fuck. I hate money. I don't see the point in every Singaporean's obssession with saving up money like morons. Saving money is a good thing, don't get me wrong, but Singaporeans save every single bit of shit available, even ten fucking cents. Do realise that the whole concept of monetary trading is to exhaust all your currency for objects and items you think is worth the value of the amount of currency you are trading out. When you save you are saving for future cases of expenditure. Singaporeans save for nothing, or maybe an ego boost. Fuck your ego. You save money to spend it. So severe is the Singaporena obssession with money that any free giveaway summons for a five kilometer queue within thirty minutes its announcement. It's like fuck. Really. Apart from buying things, which is what money was made for, it does absolutely nothing else. A fifty dollar note doesn't do anything. Neither do ten cent coins.
Singaporeans have horrible fashion sense. I know Singapore is all tropical and everything but I hate it when I see girls wearing short shorts. Firstly they have horribly fat thighs. Coupled with their ugly faces and Singaporean heritage, these people become the ultimate objects of contempt. And then there's the sweater thing too. Ironically, Singapore being a hot humid tropical country, I still see people wearing sweaters and jackets in broad daylight. So they wear horribly short shorts to compensate for the resultant hyperthermia. Being overly promiscuous in broad daylight usually gets you raped by a serial rapist so don't scream for help when you do get raped by a serial rapist because you deserve it. Singaporeans lack the capacity to exhibit common sense. Not only do Singaporeans wear sweaters outdoors, and then complain about the heat and everything; some people get even more brilliant; they wear sweaters in air conditioned rooms. Why don't you fucks turn off the air conditioners and take off your sweaters. That way you save electricity and you become ten times smarter. Dress appropriately.
Singlish. Singaporeans have the worst accents in the whole world. Worse than the Japanese. I fucking hate it when Singaporeans try to use an American accent. If you're good with your voice, fine. If your charisma sucks, stfu. Your pathetic accent can kill. Singlish is also the worst combination of Chinese, Malay and English, and a whole shitload of other dialects. The result of this lingual amalgamate is noise. You sound like a degenerate when you speak Singlish. Those mediacorp artistes suck balls. Every single one of them cannot speak English without the Singaporean tone in their voice and it makes them sound like fuck. Everytime I watch a Singaporean production on Channel 5 I find myself flinching at the horrible acting and accent of the actors. It's utterly disgusting and horrifying. Besides, some of them look really ugly. The Singapore entertainment industry should just give up and quit.


There are, nevertheless, a handful of good people among us, who don't suck and behave like the stereotypical Singaporean. But it turns out that society sucks so much that our shitness simply overwhelms all the good they have done. These people are my friends (no I'm not emoing now). Basically, if you were like any other conformist Singaporean you wouldn't be my friend because I believe in selection.

I don't hate the Singaporean government. As a matter of fact I think it's quite awesome.

I just detest every living citizen of the country that the government so happens to be unfortunate enough to see governing them a necessity.

I am not proud to be a Singaporean. I am not proud of this society.